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Then after surgery, my husband and I heard the doctor tell us, “I’m sorry, but you can’t ever have children of your own.” We were stunned. Burdened by my husband’s pain, I suggested we divorce so he could find a wife who could have his children. Amazingly, I experienced a lightness and spaciousness of being freed from limitation.
I had the possibility of creating a completely different future for myself.
By deciding that it had to be a life that would not have been possible if I had children, I opened a vast field of opportunity that had previously been beyond my imagination.
By the second year, I had a steady partner who was charming, creative, sexy, committed, years younger, and didn’t care if he had kids.
Nearly 46 percent of American women through age 44 are childless. All reasons this generation of women are not bearing children at the same rate their mothers did are valid.
Some are young women and just not at a point in their lives where motherhood is a choice they'd like to make.
I loved him and felt loved by him, and supported in my lifestyle.
I was delighted with my choices and happy with my life as a single woman without children.
If your vision centers on creating a family with children, as mine did, learning that a potential partner can’t conceive or has chosen not to have children –– or being that person –– can seem an insurmountable obstacle. There is a cultural expectation that a woman will have a child.
If children or no children are critical to the vision for either of you, it will become part of the conversation.
Listen closely, be open to exploring, and respect each point of view.
Since children or no children can be such a critical issue, it’s important to consider how, and when, to introduce the topic into a new relationship. Know yourself and acknowledge the limits of your situation If infertility is your issue, would you be open to having children through adoption, surrogacy, or step-children?
If you have chosen to be childfree, how firm is your resolve?
When we are willing to live in the present and walk bravely into the mystery that unfolds before us, we can create and recognize opportunities that are often beyond our imagination.